"How many guys are there at Townsend again? Like 2?"

LOLOLOL, this kidddddd. XD

Someone on tumblr posted this, and I think it's absolutely ridiculous. First off, YES, everyone has a point in their life where they'll have low self esteem but that shouldn't be the only thing on your mind. Your physical appearance can change, and sometimes you've just got to accept it! If you didn't know, i think you care about your appearance more than others do. Where's your self esteem at, girrrrrl? Second, why do people EVER think they have no friends? You need to give your friends more credit! There are always going to be people who care about you, don't take them for granted. Third, no one told you to put a brave face. If there's something wrong, since you're 'dying', GIVE YOUR FRIENDS A FRIGGIN chance and tell them! People are always going to be there to help. You CANNOT automatically assume that people don't like you. That's something you cannot say for sure unless they tell you, well in that case, there are not even your friend. Fourth of all, "I'm a girl." LOL. Just because your a girl does not mean you get argumentative and moody. And honestly, it's not the people who don't realize that, I'm pretty sure we can all relate to that in some way. Everyone gets argumentative and moody. It's just part of who we are as humans. Fifth of all, you need to stop taking everything you do so negatively. Just like everyone else, we all mess up once in a while. It's not the end of the world. Loosen up! Sixth of all, if people walk away, they're not your real friends. They would be there to listen. It's okay, maybe you were talking to the wrong people this whole time. Accept your freaking self. If you have a problem with yourself, CHANGE yourself rather than complaining. You were made this way, there's always going to be room to improve and you need to understand that. Seventh of all, you honestly cannot let a random boy ruin your day. You need to learn how to stay strong, and put yourself together. There are always going to be people that just throw out nasty comments for their sake. Who the heck cares? You honestly need more self confidence. Tell yourself that you're better than that. You don't need that. Why waste your time? Why waste your energy? Fine, don't tell anyone. Be a fake, and lie to everyone that tries to get to know you. Maybe that's why NO ONE cares. You don't give them a chance. You don't trust them. You wouldn't dare tell them. Yes, go enjoy your time on tumblr with strangers who supposedly care about your life. How the hell would you know? Anyone can easily have a way with their words. Anyone can easily lie to you. Especially over the internet. You know how easy you've made it for them to just barge into your life when they couldn't give two shits. Now, NOT everyone will completely lie to you, but you know what? I'm sure they care more about their LIFE and people they know in real life over someone they've met through the internet. Ever heard of cyber bullying? It's common, it really is. And you know what I think? Tumblr would be the perfect place for those cyber bullies to go. I think a good 75% of tumblr are people who are insecure, and look for complete strangers they feel they can relate. If you need someone to comfort you, GO TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW. What has the internet done for you? "Oooh, same here! Me too! These people are so much better than my real life friends." Not to bash on tumblr, but the people on tumblr. Sure, I've met some great people through tumblr but I'm not going to trust them with my life. You can't rely on people to show you sympathy. You can't expect no one on tumblr to judge you and accept you for who you are. They know who you are through the internet! What you SEE/HEAR through the internet is NOTHING like what'd you do in real life. The computer is like a whole new barrier between you and the person on the other end. People take Tumblr to such unrealistic levels. Vent, Post, Share your opinions, that's what a blog if for. A Tumblr doesn't exist as an "escape" or as your second life. Still don't understand? Here's a thought. Go see a therapist.

Don't get me wrong. Tumblr is a great social website like none other. It's perfect for when you're bored. But it's the people on Tumblr. Some people just take everything so seriously. But since it's so common on Tumblr, I guess this is how they all just join together.

There's one reason as to why I don't ever do anything.
Cuz if I did, It'd trigger something even more. One is already enough.

Ordered my dress for prom! Heh (:

I'm actually suuuper excited about prom & trips! ^_^ I feel like it's FINALLY a break from all the hard grueling world in school. School has just been so fucking boring. Scuse my language, but it's so dang boring! & No one even TRIES to make it funner. I guess we're all so used to the same routine that we don't even bother to try out a new one. GET SOME ENERGY YOU GUYS. You guys are killing me. T-T I feel less and less encouraged to go to school man. Let me be absent, or let me have some fun. >_> Don't get me wrong, there are some days where school days are amazing but there are also some days where i honestly feel like i'm going to rip out all my hair through boredom. & You ask? Why haven't I posted in a while? Well, first of all, what's there to post about? Me, talking about how bored I am? I'd be wasting your time then. -_- 

SO YES, SURPRISE ME. PLEASE.

imdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdoneimdone

Oh my gooosh. Flag football seems fun. I wanna try.

I'm dooooooone! Forreal this time.
I really hope that I keep my word this time. >_>

Wow. The PlayStation Move is just like the Wii. I mean after, it's only exactly what the Wii is right?! I mean I enjoy playing PlayStation 3 games but damn wtf, if you search up "PlayStation Move" and look at a Wii, they are exactly the same. Oh wait, no, Sony stuck on a random ball. It looks like they smacked a ball onto a friggen' wii controller. LOL, my brother thought it looked like a dildo. Hey, it doubles right!? Sony really needs to start getting more original LOL.

Oh I love Nintendo.
(This is off of Yahoo Answers.)

What they said... honestly i've been a nintendo fan since the NES ( about 16y ago ). I mean i've played playstation games if there were good ( god of war, GTA etc ) but every since the ps1 and the n64 came out.. sony's been copying nintendo. 

If you've ever watched E3... you'll notice Nintendo will ALWAYS be last.. because they know sony will "borrow" some ideas.

Ok N64 came out and had joystick... look at the first ps1 controllers... NO JOYSTICK... So sony recalled and made the dual shock.

Gamecube came out and had some online ( though crappy ) so sony decides to.. then here comes microsoft to dominate them both.

Gameboy was doing so well.. they decided for the psp. LOL the psp even today could not even come close to the sales.. its a poor system. I mean up untill this year the DS was litterally beating the psp AND the ps3 in sales combined!

Then here comes the Wii... They waited till the last day to show it. Sony realized there boomerang controller was dumb and re-did it.. oh and through in six-axis to compete with nintendo's motion controll.... ya thats doing well.

So why not just copy the WHOLE thing and call it ours? Lol the sony wand, or sony mote, whatever you wanna call it.. its just copying.

At least Microsoft goes different and gets rid of controllers COMPLETELY! I mean there copying... but not just straight ripping off right?

There's alot more sony copied.. and failed at... but hey Nintendo is still beating them everytime.

What is music? Literally!

oh maaayun.

half of the time i'm like "F'YEAAAAH! i can't wait to get out of here"

and the other half, i'm like "ugh damn, i'm gonna miss these people."

same for townsend harris LOL.

half of time: "YESSSS, townsend at last!"

and the other half: "why did i pick townsend. really."

so which one is it? daaaaamn mind, make up your friggen mind! 

well on the bright side, i know that some things will NEVER change. haha

May 14

DAMN, after such a long day finally slouching in front of my computer feels so nice.

townsend harris test -> korean school -> bowling/pool/air hockey/ping pong -> gyro & walking home LOL

i am so tired right now but i have to admit it was a lot better than staying at home. ahahahah, i am SO bad at playing poool. >_> i actually missed the cue ball a few times but i think i'm getting there. LOL no, i didn't even get a single ball in. david & raihan were pretty good tho. OH, then we played air hockey! daaamn, that got us all sweaty. karla is cuhrayzaaaay! LOOOL but i love her. there was also ping pong. like DAMN, i swear i KNEW how to play so well at my old old old first korean school but then it's been so long i don't even remember how to play! i lost all my skeeelz ): ahhhh, we also placed a mass order at wendys and marched down the streets like total fatasses. we had 8 small fries, 6 burgers, 7 frosty's, and 1 soda. OH GOD, i am filled. cuz i had a gyro after with paul & some kid ^_^

oh! & my townsend harris test was EAAAAAAAASY! altho there are way too many girrls XD & so many of them are so quiet it puts me in an awkward position! i wish i knew more people ahead of time. gaaah ): 

& korean school, HAHAH, it was so sweaty! everything today was so sweaty but i guess it was alll worth the waaaait. i need to learn to be more patient. it's not my thing yo.

well, blogger deleted some of  my posts. >_>

Day 30

I would have posted yesterday but blogger was having errors. It even deleted some of my posts. Aghhhh, well I'm bored as usual but life is good. I just wish something EXCITING would happen. Followin' the same routine as usual, and everyone's just losing more and more energy each day. What am I supposed to do? So this marks the end of my 30 day challenge, it was actually pretty fun, i might start another one.

OOOH MY GOOOD, I CAN'T EVEEEN, ROOOFL!

Day 29

A picture of myself; pouting HAHAH (:

Day 28

I used to wish at 11:11, until I realized it was completely pointless. If I have a wish & I really want it to come true, I'll work for it. If I know it's not possible, I'll just keep dreaming LOL.

& What did I wish for? HAHAH, i don't know if it's accurate but i think i saw this in arthur but they were like if you tell a wish it won't come true, so oh well, sorrrehs (;

loooooooooooool, i can't believe you asked.

reading old wall to walls on facebook & LMFAO-ing to my computer like an idiot. oh, this is pure joy. i'm so freaaaaaaking hsaldhlsahdksa these days! :D :D :D

Day 27

A picture of my handwriting:

this was from my korean school notebook, HAHA (:
i'm actually starting to like my handwriting, so fagggish, but whatevs!

i seriously wonder how people can look at a picture that someone took that only shows their lips & down & then saaaay "OH, GORGEOUS!" ...you think their chest is gorgeous? what in the world.

Day 26

What are some little things that make you feel all warm & fuzzy? heh (;
i really like this one LOL.

But it's just those really cute random comments that people make! It can be any sweet words. Especially randomly, just makes my daaaay yo, (:
OH! & also, hugs, i love hugs HAHAH, don't show it enough right? but like the right moments, i love hugs.

honestly, it's really EASY to make my day, haha (:
shdkljshlkdhlksahdlsa yaaaawps, i mean it.

& HAPPY MOTHERS DAAAAY! that's you, my real mother & shariful. are ya happy? LOL, your name is mentioned, this makes 4 i think? baha (x

i would NEVER give up my social life. even if i have a crap load of homework/tests/projects/whatevs, i'll make time. (:

Day 25

okay. when i see a person, the first thing i look at is their face. you're right, i'd want a average-good lookin' guy. but you know what? i cannot STAND people who are boring. i just can't be around them. i know that usually people have something going on behind their shy acts, but if you're straight up boring. PLEASE, just no. Long story short, I want someone who I can keep a conversation going with, not worrying about it ending or having awkward silences. It doesn't matter HOW gorgeous you are, that just makes you eye candy. >_> & that's not what i'm looking for.

oh my god, today was fun LOLOL.
my tongue in still burnt from the coffee, HAHAH (:
that was so friggen fun, @ korean school, our little 8th grade possey went with the doode teacher to get some coffee & skipped class. BAHAHA (x

oh right & in class, these two doodes in like 6th grade kept staring at me LOL awkks!
oh gosh, today was such a good day overall.

& THE WATER BALLOOON FIGHT, holy shit! i really would have regretted not going. but it was so UNFAIR. birthday boy & david would hiding "making balloons" and making random appearances to get all of us. -_- LOL. plus it was so coooold! wahhaj was mad ninjaaa, but i eventually dunked a chunk of water on him. IT WAS WAAAAAR, bro! oh i feel bad, i totally forgot about cleaning up. >_> tanvirs room is probably a mess right now. i'm so sorry tanvir, haha. T-T hope you had a wonderful birthday tho! ^^

then, we ended the day with some good old black ops. LOLomg, the game with me & bernii was so intense. AAAAAH, these games scare me, i'm gettin' used to it tho, i'm gettin' used to it. oh right, and then the homies watched the heat game. -_- "yaaaaay heat!"

kthanksbye.

Day 24

7 things that cross my mind a lot:

1.) What will I be when I grow up? What do I want to do? What can I do? What do I truly find an interest in?
2.) When will I get out of junior high? HAHAH >_<
3.) Can you like nooooot?!
4.) What high school will be like. & If I made the right decision.
5.) LOLOLOL 'What would happen if I went to Bronx Science?' XDDD
6.) How I'm perceived in a different persons perspective. How do I appear to you?
7.) What it'd be like to be a guy for a change.

Day 23

Letters?! Aghhhh. D:

I'm not very good with letters. Plus, why write a letter when you can say it in person? plus WHO am I supposed to write it to? Uhmm. Okeh.

I think I'll write two letters tho. ahhhaaa (:

Dear 제시카,
You have no 퍼킹 idea on how much 아이 럽 유! Okay. You always seem to have the right things to say. Unlike most 친구s, 너는 나 한태 '배일' (취소) 온미, you know what I mean. ALSO, I just feel do friggen 편한해 when 아이 톡 윗 유. Long story short, 유 are 마이 언니. (: HAHAH, also remember all the insiders like '하버두' & '만두 오빠!' LOLOLOLOL. 오 btw, 언니 너무 예뻐, ㅋㅋㅋ. & 아이 햅 deets on ㅅㅎ & ㄷㅂ...yeeeeup. Deuces!

Dear 아빠,

너무 많은것을 말해고싶다. 하지만, 기회가 없고, 그냥, 말일 할수 없다. 웃기지? 나 때문에 아빠가 왜 상처를 받아? 내가 몬대? 이런 스트레스 말고도 충분히 투쟁이 많는대. 내가 할말이없다. 내가 뭘 할 수있어? 내가 아빠 위해 한거있어? 고맙다는 말도 못했고. I should probably start to 표현 my 이모shuns more, but it just doesn't work for me, yaknow? WELL of course, it's not like 아이 캔트, it's that 아이 think that 아워 리래이shun싶 is not too 가까운 거애서. :/ I guess, I kind of grew out of that? 하지만, i have NEVER ever felt that I didn't want that 가까운 커낵tion. (HAHA, fail konglish!) 아이 still want to make 잇 스트렁거. I'm trying my best to make the most of it, really. Although other things cam be 거짓말, 이번에는 사실이다. 진짜 미안하고, 너무 많이 사랑해! (: 힘내!!! I know, I know. 유 don't need to prove it or anything. I know you 캐어 포 미.

Day 22

I wore my UNIFORM to sku? LOL. i wish we had free dress more often T-T

this is the life bro.

WOW! that is SO unexpected. O_O

Oh who am I kidding, anyone can pull that off.

hooly shit! WHAT IF i had that letter? omgomgomgomgomg.

i seriously wish sdjlahshdlkshdlkhaslkdhklsahdlas ):

Maaayun, you are so ignorant, and narrow minded, it's not even funny.

Day 21

Turn on's and off's LOL

Turn ons:

A nice smile/laugh. (:

DIMPLESDIMPLESDIMPLESDIMPLES. omfg.

Intelligent.

Loyal.

Kind/Sweet but not to the point where you're a total herb.

Being tall.

Sense of humor.

Confidence!

Slimmmmmmmm. HAHAH, i don't mind a little chubbiness either tho ! ^_^

Lively.

Turns offs:

SMOKERS. >.<

People who curse like crazy! It's not necessary to replace every word with fuck yknow.

Bad hygiene.

Cocky.

Dramatic people who take everything so seriously.

Choosing to be stupid.

Insecure (I know we all have moments but have a tiniest bit of confidence in yourself!)

Druggies.

No manners/rude

LOUD.

Boring/Plain.

There's probably more but that's all I can think of for now. [:

Day 20

I haven't attended a proper concert, a loser, i know! ><

BUUUUUUT! i have went to certain events that famous korean singers appeared in. ONLY korean, cuz going to an american singer concert would cost money, and these were free! (; HAHAHH lemme be my cheap asian self. ANYWHO, if those are included, i've seen brown eyed girls, wonder girls, son dam bi, brian, and lotssss more over the past years. (:

Day 19

I've actually ONLY lived in New York. I've visited other places but LIVE LIVE, is only New York. I've lived in different parts of New York but nothing like from New York to California or something. I wouldn't mind moving tho. :D